dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
