my sisters under your porch take her home
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize