The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
