Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Come on in and take your pants off
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