tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
