The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
