i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
