She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
