thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
