Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
