Got a toothbrush?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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