I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
