i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
