im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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