So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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