I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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