four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize