Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
bring money and cleavage
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
