so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
