I puked a lego.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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