So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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