I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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