guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
