Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
