I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
