Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
