I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Lo siento on account of my penis...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
