you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
