So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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