just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
