would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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