She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize