Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
