his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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