You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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