ya dads aren't the best wingmen
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
