About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
