these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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