My boss' voice literally gives me gas
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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