not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
