Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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