You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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