thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
