he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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