No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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