watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
