I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
