ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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