worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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