We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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