Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
