that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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