just come out here and I will go home with you...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
