i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
