I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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