Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
