There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
