If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
