I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
