You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
