I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
